Saturday, May 19, 2012

I Found Hope in a Platypus Filled Place (Blog Post of Evil #13)

Hello again, 

The last few days have been sort of miserable. I've been sitting in my laboratory, planning on plotting but ending up just stareing listlessly at the wall. Ever since my abysmal failure with the Bumbly Tower I've been in a sort of funk. Not quite sure what to do. I'm sure that the League of Violent Evil has pretty much given up on me. Maybe I should go back to being a pharmacist…
One minute, I just heard a knock on my door, pardon me while I take my sorrowful corpse over there.

Hmm, strange, It's from Tenacious Terry of the League of Violent Evil, I'm worried. But I suppose there's nothing for it but to read it…Here goes.

Dear E. Wikkins, Evil Schemer
We saw the massive hole that you put in the Bumbly Building, very impressive, however it did lack the pizzazz we wanted. Teleporting it into the sun would have been pretty cool, but you know, maybe a project for next time. While blasting a massive hole through a famous building was pretty cool, (the mimes were also a nice touch) I don't feel that we can accept you quite yet. However we have upgraded your status from "Evil Upstart" to "Evil Schemer" So technically you are moving up, but in reality we just made that rank up to make you feel better. Either way, you have a good start, now show us some true evil and we'll see about getting you into the league.
This was the best news I'd heard since…well since I got their first letter. But they didn't know that I'd failed! They thought that that was my plan all along. I gave a participially exuberant evil laugh as my mind began to scheme up another plot. 
I spent the next few hours pacing my laboratory, and in case you haven't read my earlier blogs I pronounce "laboratory" with the extra syllable. It just makes it sound more villainous. Pronunciation aside, I need to think of something absolutely diabolical. Something that would blast the minds of the League of Violent Evil out of the metaphorical water. Getting every member of my city to worship me would be a step in the right direction, I mean, I've already managed to make them all watch mimes, how hard could it be? …But that's so boring…
I'll meditate on this one. No doubt I'll have something villainous by the next post, so until then, stay evil…I really need to think of something good to say at the end here…

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